The Ballad of Dodgeball Turoczy

So, I turned 50 with a whole week of revelry.
We did the air show at Yeovilton, then came home to a night at the pub.
Then the following day we did beach games at South Milton.
At one point there were 44 people there, all playing rounders, British Bulldog or dodgeball.
It was all very dangerous from a health and safety point of view, and great fun.
Elmer got so enthusiastic about the sports that he couldn't run for a couple of days. Jamie the Legs flew his giant stunt kite and Mrs Fudd rugby tackled the Caerphilly Kid so hard that his eyes are still watering now.
Dodgeball Turoczy earned her nickname with a bravura performance in the game and Jimmy Green Shorts took a tennis ball full in the eye from nephew Declan, overarm and intentional from a range of about three feet.
Brave lad, he hardly batted an eyelid, and later kicked a football at me very hard in what can only be described as the 'gentleman's area'. I still gave him a lift home.
Lizzie's Dave, who probably hadn't played British Bulldog since Bill Haley and the Comets were in the charts, showed some neat footwork across the sand but was caught trying to sneak up behind the row of tents.
Cricket started with a lot of poor shots, but then DIY Dave got his eye in and started hitting missiles. It's a big beach and we had a big area to ourselves, but it didn't stop DIY Dave from seeking out and hitting some people sitting nearby.
They were very good about it.
Picnics ranged from sandwiches and Pringles to Nanna's full-on tagine mounted over hot coals.
No-one seemed to mind too much that I had led an eight-car convoy in completely the wrong direction getting there. We found it in the end.